Answers (8)
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Full disclosure: I've done my share of "lying" to coaches and trainers, as their client - all to position myself as more on the ball than I actually had been! In the end, I realize I was just avoiding the real issue.
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I think anyone who says they've never lied is lying, LOL. And clients lie a lot.
Sometimes, it's too early in the training relationship to reveal the complete truth. Details about me come out as trust develops. I haven't lied about major stuff like, "Do you have a life-threatening condition that might affect my ability to train you today?" It's been more along the lines of my "whys" for my less desirable behaviors or lack of better behaviors. In that case, I've given partial truth.
I think our clients are like that, too. They will tell us what they think is relevant, what they're willing to reveal, based on how much they trust us, how much time we have together, and how well the training is going. If we are a good training team (trainer and client - both have to invest in the relationship), the bud opens up slowly and we are able to see more and more petals of the flower.
Sometimes, it's too early in the training relationship to reveal the complete truth. Details about me come out as trust develops. I haven't lied about major stuff like, "Do you have a life-threatening condition that might affect my ability to train you today?" It's been more along the lines of my "whys" for my less desirable behaviors or lack of better behaviors. In that case, I've given partial truth.
I think our clients are like that, too. They will tell us what they think is relevant, what they're willing to reveal, based on how much they trust us, how much time we have together, and how well the training is going. If we are a good training team (trainer and client - both have to invest in the relationship), the bud opens up slowly and we are able to see more and more petals of the flower.
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More relevant, IMO, than whether a client has lied to me (yes!) is how to handle it when catching a client in a lie. Crud! I have to run and teach but will elaborate in a bit.
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Hi Mike,
interesting question. I believe we all have been guilty of 'beautifying the facts'. As in "have you exercised as regularly as you promised".
As Nancy mentioned, when we first meet clients, we are strangers to each other, and yet the discussion about client issues can get very personal. I often find that I get omissions rather than lies. Some important pieces of information that I may get later, sometimes hear from a spouse. It often happens when the client considers it embarrassing. And it is sometimes not even intentional but truly a Freudian slip.
Karin Singleton
www.KarinSingleton.com
interesting question. I believe we all have been guilty of 'beautifying the facts'. As in "have you exercised as regularly as you promised".
As Nancy mentioned, when we first meet clients, we are strangers to each other, and yet the discussion about client issues can get very personal. I often find that I get omissions rather than lies. Some important pieces of information that I may get later, sometimes hear from a spouse. It often happens when the client considers it embarrassing. And it is sometimes not even intentional but truly a Freudian slip.
Karin Singleton
www.KarinSingleton.com
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Hello Mike Bundrant,
Karin beat me to it: I sense an omission of facts over fibbing. As Nancy mentions, when clients and I cross into the trusting zone, we are both honest about heartfelt issues. I take it as the best compliment when clients open up about past issues/experiences that were not revealed during the first consultation. This is normal human behavior: keep your guard up.
I personally will not answer something I consider to be too personal.
With all that being said, I do believe that we learn from experience as well, such as, I now know that every little detail can help connect the dots. Growing up I was torn between parental and coach advice which was the hardest, needing to please both parties with different views in my formative/minor years.
Let's stir the pot together for wonderfully blended and balanced results,
Natalie aka NAPS 2 B Fit.
Karin beat me to it: I sense an omission of facts over fibbing. As Nancy mentions, when clients and I cross into the trusting zone, we are both honest about heartfelt issues. I take it as the best compliment when clients open up about past issues/experiences that were not revealed during the first consultation. This is normal human behavior: keep your guard up.
I personally will not answer something I consider to be too personal.
With all that being said, I do believe that we learn from experience as well, such as, I now know that every little detail can help connect the dots. Growing up I was torn between parental and coach advice which was the hardest, needing to please both parties with different views in my formative/minor years.
Let's stir the pot together for wonderfully blended and balanced results,
Natalie aka NAPS 2 B Fit.
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The most common lie told to trainers is probably from weight loss clients that are not losing weight, but say they are following their dieticians programming exactly. I try to get them to understand that I am not judging them when it comes to the process of lifestyle changes. The weight loss clients that eventually give up on telling me what they think they should and begin being totally honest, make the most progress eventually.
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Hi Mike,
I think clients lie sometimes to avoid accountability. If they don't acknowledge a problem, they don't have to fix it. Part of our job, if we are coaches, should be to help them by offering some suggestions to their routine/behavior that will bring them closer to their goals. We have to meet clients where they are with their current state of mind in order for us to propel them forward.
It also depends on the client/coach relationship. Some clients are ashamed and will lie, others know they've slid off the program and confess because they feel a level of comfort in their trainer or coach.
Clients need to know it's ok to make mistakes---that's life.
Just my thoughts!
Best,
Christine
I think clients lie sometimes to avoid accountability. If they don't acknowledge a problem, they don't have to fix it. Part of our job, if we are coaches, should be to help them by offering some suggestions to their routine/behavior that will bring them closer to their goals. We have to meet clients where they are with their current state of mind in order for us to propel them forward.
It also depends on the client/coach relationship. Some clients are ashamed and will lie, others know they've slid off the program and confess because they feel a level of comfort in their trainer or coach.
Clients need to know it's ok to make mistakes---that's life.
Just my thoughts!
Best,
Christine
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I've lied and have had clients lie to me. Both of us about nutrition! Most people know things they should/shouldn't eat and so when we eat those things knowing we have to self report later, we might just gloss over a few details here and there.
